Day 26 of 56: Relative Calm

Today started of with anxiety, then calm, then serenity, then more anxiety, and then more calm.

Went to bed late, but not too late (1am) and since I slept pretty crappy yesterday (4hrs) I slept in today until about 10. Read a few chapters of a book and then decided I needed to get up and move a little to hopefully fight some of that atrophy. Got up, played a couple games on my phone for a while, and the rest of the day will be scattered in the 4 sections below.

Some of this might seem political but just know that I try to remain as apolitical as possible. Learned that from my Government teacher in high school: I have my own thoughts and opinions but I’m not going to tell you what they are. THANKS, HANSON! <3

Governor’s Address

Yesterday, the governors of OR, WA, and CA announced that they would work together to reopen the states safely. West Coast = Best Coast. Some NE states also did the same. A lot of news articles I’ve seen announce that the NE states did it first and then the west coast followed suit, usually almost at the bottom of the article, which is kinda BS but whatever there’s more people east of us so pander all you want we all know we did it first.

Today, Gov Brown announced her framework for reopening and it was streamed on YouTube. I was about 45 minutes late to the game, but I watched it. This time they had an ASL interpreter on the screen and I was slightly distracted by that. My ASL is extremely limited but I can kinda figure most things out with context. He was a full 30 seconds behind. Even for her opening speech, which like, give him a copy of the speech?! Then he can translate in real time?!!?! Some tech issues towards the end, which slightly annoyed the theatre tech in me, but they fixed it and of course I understand because as a theatre tech I know that shit just happens.

I’ll link the address here.

While I was watching this I was comforted by hearing from the top (like the call with my GM two weeks ago and again coming up this Friday), but mostly I felt anxious. They don’t know how long this is going to go on. Which I totally get, this isn’t something that we can control, we can only look at the data and respond accordingly. For the most part, I think Oregon has done extremely well with relatively so few deaths, and honestly not that bad of infections (outside Portland and Eugene).

That’s not a slam on Portland or Eugene, those are two of our largest cities so of course there’s going to be more spread. Oregon is pretty spread out which doesn’t not work in our favor. I’d be interested in seeing per-capita-by-state numbers if someone can help with that.

But we don’t know how this is all going to go down, and I just want to be able to go back to work (can’t remotely work, I’m furloughed/laid-off) and maybe eat at a restaurant again because I am SO TIRED OF COOKING FOR ONLY MYSELF. Keep this in mind, I’m going to keep some sort of timeline with this post. It did sound like mid-May was a goal (unofficially) which would be AWESOME because that’s the latest my PTO can handle. UI will give me half my income, but who knows when that first check would come and how I’d be able to pay my bills and stuff. Anxiety.

Jenna Marbles

After watching the Governor’s address, I needed to calm down so I went to my suggested videos.
The first one was a Vlogbrothers video. I love Hank. More on him at a later date. But then I embarked upon a Jenna Marbles and Julien streak. (earliest at the bottom, ofc)

My actual YouTube history after watching Gov Brown’s presser 4/14/2020

I can’t remember if I’ve talked about this, but I’ve been watching Jenna’s vids almost since the beginning. Back then I still had dial-up so I would load one of her vids and just wait for it to buffer enough to watch uninterrupted. Back then she was crazy and angry and yelling and that just resonated with me. I’ll be honest, for a few years I hadn’t watched anything of hers, but maybe a year or two ago I started watching again. It wasn’t routinely at the beginning, but now I can’t wait for Wednesday/Thursday to see her again. Her latest videos in the last couple years are much more chill and much more aligned to me as a person. I used to love her crazy/weird/yelling videos back in the day, but now I’m totally fine with her doing whatever the hell she wants because that’s where I am in my life.

Jenna and Julien have a huge following, as they should, called the Dink Fam. I haven’t ever figured out the YouTube community so for both Jenna/Julien and the Vlogbrothers I’m happy to lurk on the community elsewhere like Reddit. So I’m happy to lurk when I run into the community on YouTube/Switch/elsewhere.

This is a long way to say that watching her videos calms me down and I love it. Drunk Joe also emailed them to offer my F&F discount at work and was like “hey if you want to golf I’ll hook you up, I’d love to play with you but you don’t have to no pressure at all.” Because thanks to their videos I consider them friends and I’m almost positive I wouldn’t have a normal celebrity freakout, it’d just be like meeting up with some old friends after a while apart.

The point was Jenna’s vids calm me down, which I needed after some uncertain news. I don’t know where it went, but that was the point. Absolutely guarantee more to come on J&J.

Return to “Normal”

I texted Megan (hey, girl!) earlier tonight looking for some ideas for today and she brought up the “return to ‘normal'” and thoughts from the day since they’re not what I actually do through the day, they still happen and can change.

So after I finished watching the governor’s address, between videos and games and stuff, I kept thinking about what the return to normal would look like. Initially, I kept thinking even though there is going to be a staged re-opening, I’d go to a different restaurant every day to show my support.

Due to events that I’m going to cover in the next section, I ended up driving to the village and got to thinking again about this return to normal. I’d probably wear a mask in the office for a while and in public, I’d probably cook my own food for lunch, and I wouldn’t go to any mass gatherings (Fest Fest) for a while.

While that would help keep me protected until an immunization was created, I can’t help but think what would happen if everyone did the same thing. If everyone did the same as me, we would definitely run into a similar situation as the 2008 recession. Having not been a full adult during the recession, I’m not sure what that woudl ook like, but I hope that we as a society have learned better since then.

My hope, as slightly naive as I am, would be that we’ve learned our lesson in that patronizing businesses promotes the economy and would help to prevent another depression. I’m most likely going to decrease the number of businesses I frequent to prevent a second surge, but I’m going to do my best to promote business because I want everyone to succeed. I don’t eat from national chains very much, so I know I’ll mostly be able to benefit local business.

Daily Reflections

I’ve been writing the top bits for like two hours and have lost my focus. Pardon grammar and spelling, I stopped caring a little while ago.

I ordered those masks off Amazon on Saturday, they were supposed to be delivered Thursday, they got delivered today. I took the car to get the mail for the first time in a week, but since the mailboxes are .15 miles from my house I needed to drive for a while. Because it’s not good for your car to sit for more than a week, and also to drive it less than a mile. So I decided to drive to the village to get a few more miles and make the whole venture worth it. When you get to the village there’s a roundabout. I went around and there weren’t that many people at the store. I needed wine and creamer.

Since I was feeling pretty great just getting out of the house, I drove around the resort twice. It was amazing. I got out of the house but wasn’t around anyone so I didn’t feel too guilty. Parked at the store and called the local pizza joint. When I said I was tired of cooking for myself, I wasn’t joking. A medium pizza will last me at least 3 days. Ordered my pizza, opened my fresh pack of masks, and went in. Wine, creamer, eggs, and salad. The salad I was going to eat with my pizza; didn’t happen. I don’t like these masks.

Finished shopping, went to pick up the pizza. Took off my first mask, decided to wear two into the pizza joint for science. Still don’t like these masks. One mask shows my mouth and is just in general too thin. Two masks, I feel like I’m mumbling. Maybe I can tweak these to act like I want, maybe I keep them solely as emergency face covers.

Got home, had a couple slices, watched some more Jenna videos, and the anxiety of being in public melted away.

Been a chill yet rough day. Hope y’all had a better one.

Until tomorrow.

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