Day 31 of 56: Sci-fi has lied to us

I’m a nerd. And if you’re a nerd like me, you watch Sci-fi. Today in my TED talk I will talk about some of the many ways that Sci-fi has lied to us.

Touch Screens

Touch screens for years have been the epitome of the future. You can poke a surface with your meat hooks and things will happen! FUTURE!

Even from ten years ago, we’ve made some pretty big strides, we’re getting there, but THIS IS 2020! WE SHOULD ALREADY BE THERE! IN OUR FLYING CARS! WITH OUR ROBOT BUTLERS! WHERE IS MY JOSIE.

This section brought to you by me trying to type with both hands on my iPad. My nails are a little long, not too bad, but if I didn’t type with the right position, letters would be skipped because my nail prevented contact. There’s also the missing tactile response. If you shift your hand a centimeter then you would end up pressing the wrong button, and you’re not going to know it unless you’re watching your hand. So you spend a lot of time depending on autocorrect, and the things I type don’t get caught by most autocorrect so then even more time is wasted fixing it. And you see my gripe.

No wonder on Star Trek everything took so damn long. “Sorry, Captain, it’s going to take three hours to recalibrate the neutron flow of the plasma injectors.” Bitch, if you had a keyboard maybe 15 minutes max. You and I both know you’re gonna spend 90 minutes just fixing your stupid typing mistakes, why you gotta lie to the Captain like that.

Now Stargate. They had the right outlook. Yes, there’s a touch screen, but look there’s a physical keyboard. That’s why Sam Carter got so much shit done. Because she could tell what she was typing. She was also a total badass, which didn’t hurt. This paragraph brought to you by the Sam Carter fan club.

Automatic Doors

Okay, this is one thing that actually exists and functions. Well, they don’t always function the way you want. So props to automatic doors, but step up your game a little.

In Star Trek, you can stand in front of a door and reenact the battle of Lexington, and the door stays closed until you turn around to actually head out. Where is that technology?! I go to put my shopping cart away and both sets of doors open, dogs begin to bark, and in the distance: sirens. DOOR! I’m NOT going in! Figure it out!

And yes, from a technical perspective I know they use motion detectors and they’re basic tech, but again, THIS IS 2020! FUTURE!!!!!!!

Computer! (virtual assistants)

One of my favorite movies growing up was Smart House. Katey Segal has always been a favorite. (Also, LeVar Burton directed it?!?! WHAT?!?!) The idea of a house being able to learn and interact with you was amazing. Let’s forget about the house going crazy, that’s not part of the thought.

So we go from that to like Star Trek, you just say “Computer!” and can have a somewhat normal conversation to accomplish what you need. “Computer! Reroute power to auxiliary shields.” “Unable to comply, conduits damaged in section 5G Alpha.” “Okay, use the couplers in 23A Beta to bypass.” “Complete.” See? That’s a somewhat normal conversation to get what you need. How about the voice recognition? The computer always knew who said something and correctly logged it in the record.

Let’s talk about current virtual assistants. I’ve had Siri on my phone for a while, barely use her. When I’m on my phone I can easily look what what I need. The only time I really relied on Siri was when I rented a car with CarPlay and I used her to read my text messages and reply to them so I could be safe on the road. Still looking for a CarPlay, little difficult for my current car since the dash is molded. If anyone has tips for cheap and good install, let me know. ANYWAY.

A while ago I got two Google Home devices. One lives in my kitchen because I can be in the main area and it’ll hear me, the other lives in my bathroom to play music while I shower and also morning news while I’m still in bed. Google Home does a lot more for me than Siri because I more of the smart devices I have are compatible with it than HomeKit.

HOWEVER. I have voice recognition turned on, and when I’m watching Jenna and Julien’s videos, whenever Julien gives a command MY GOOGLE HOME RESPONDS. We have nowhere near the same voice. Get your shit together, Google.

Another qualm with GHome: I can’t say, “Hey Google. Turn off the living room and turn on the bedroom” when I’m headed to bed. No, it has to be two commands. And with the delay between actions, it’s honestly much faster to use the Home app on my phone to change the lights.

All I want is to have a conversation with my house and have it respond accordingly, is that so much to ask?

Daily Reflections

Took today as another lazy day, got almost nothing done. Slept in again.

Spent a fair amount of time getting my sister’s website updated with the right plugins and stuff that’s needed. Now just have to have her pick a theme and start creating content!

I also spent a very large chunk of time installing email services on my server. I’ve done it before, but for whatever reason I was riding the struggle bus today. It’ll send/receive, but I can’t log in with Outlook. Not a big deal, I can poke at it again later. I’m going to blame me just sitting in my chair with my feet up, I always seem to not be focused in this position. Once I clean up the guest room (filled with boxes because I’m lazy!) then I can set up a desk again and hopefully be more focused on stuff.

Around 5 I had my weekly, “Oh CRAP! LAUNDRY!” moment. Less vital now since I have nowhere to go on Monday. But I can smell my BO and I’m out of pajamas, so as soon as that load is done I’m going to take a shower.

I made mac & cheese for lunch but screwed it up somehow (sauce refused to stick to the noodles) and right this very now it’s 7:30 and I’m watching Julien’s video about bangers and mash. I could make that. I’m hungry. BRB, gonna make some chili dogs because I’ve wanted them for a few days now and I’m running low on things to cook.

Okay, I’m back. Did you miss me? Heated up a whole can of chili and put it on a hot dog. Not the whole can, that’s excessive. But if I get hungry later I just need to heat up a hot dog and re-reheat the chili. My appetite’s been wonky, not sure if it’s just general anxiety/depression or because I’m not moving very much so I don’t need to eat as much.

Okay, time for some video games and then bed.


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