The Return To Work

Wow. It’s only been four days since my last post. Or three. Counting is hard. That’s why I work with computers: they do all the counting for me.


Friday was my first day back. The boss had worked 8 weeks straight so he wasn’t coming in. Fair. Take your time off, dude, you need it.

We had a handful of outlets all opening at the same time, so my entire day was literally handling password resets, reconfiguring things, and plugging stuff in. So like a normal day, but alone, and with enough volume to feel like high-peak summer.

Friday was a doozy of a day as a first day back. Didn’t get the things done I needed to. I texted the boss and was like “you did this for 8 weeks?! Take MORE time off, you earned it!”

I stayed later than normal mostly because by after 5 the calls slowed down and I could get to work on what I needed to do, but also because I had decided that this was going to be a pizza day and their line was busy. Soon as I could get through, shut everything down and go home.


Nothing of consequence happened on Saturday. My shopping window for Imperfect Foods opened Friday afternoon, so later in the day Saturday I picked what I wanted. Was able to score some zucchini, pretty stoked to grill some up because it’s so delicious when it’s grilled.

Did some more stuff for work. We implemented some safety policies for guests and associates so I needed to find a way to make that happen easily. Built a report and instructions on how to carry that out. Also installed updates and rebooted almost a third of the servers. Not a bad day from my pajamas.


Finished rebooting things at 1 or 2 in the morning, had too many glasses of vino, fell asleep in my non-reclining chair. Woke up around 5 or 6 and moved to my actual bed.

And then the phone calls started. Turns out a bunch of services on a high-priority system don’t start even though they’re supposed to. Yay. Five calls later, I finally get the right things started and people can do their jobs. Cool. Back to sleep.

Eventually woke up around noon. Went back to the chair I fell asleep in just hours before and lost track of time in various apps on my phone. Next thing I know, it’s 6 and I’m finally hungry. I also haven’t had any water.

Drink some water, eat a thing. Good.

And then it wasn’t. I’m not sure what happened, but it felt like I swallowed a cat hair. Couldn’t clear my throat effectively, which made me cough, and when I coughed it was hard enough to make me want to puke.

Oh no.

Drank some more water, but apparently I drank too much because then my stomach started to hurt and I really felt like I had to puke when I coughed.

Wait a second. Coughing? Feeling like you have to puke? Joe, you dumbass… you’re dehydrated. Why do you keep doing this to yourself.


Woke up this morning, still felt like I had a cat hair in my throat. But it wasn’t too bad. My stomach hurt a little bit like I was dehydrated, but again not too bad. Get in to work, we’re good.

Knocked out a fair bit of work today. I track my tasks by time, and my time spent on tasks doesn’t look good. But I actually got a lot done. So metrics really aren’t the real way to measure productivity. Because you could be like me and forget to start the timer, or are not actively working on a task but are instead reading things that help you do your job.

I was gone for two months! A lot has changed, and I need to get caught back up! My productivity percentage only really matters to me; I have a goal that on average more than half my time working is spent on tasks. 50% productivity sounds terrible, but I read an article somewhere that employees are generally only 40% productive. Once I get back into my groove, that number is easily 60-90%. Gotta leave time for lunch and bathroom breaks and a little socializing.

Socializing. That’s a weird thing now. The last two work days I’ve been alone in the office. It’s hard to chat with the accounting team because they have their doors closed so they don’t have to wear their masks. I can’t just go on walkabout because we all still need to limit contact with others.

Got lunch at one of the golf courses today. Cheeseburger and fried green beans! I love these fried green beans. It’s like eating a vegetable, but actually delicious. The burgers are objectively bad: greasy, crappy bun, not very fancy… but that’s exactly why I love them. In a business that deals in being fancy and pretentious, these are exactly that: just a good old-fashioned burger. Yeah, I’ll eat pretentious food. I like food. But that’s not me. What you see is what you get. Give me your crappiest burger and I’m going to love it. Even at McDonald’s, I prefer their $0.70 burgers over the more expensive Big Mac or Angus burgers. Simple.

One of the things I did today was move six boxes of toilet paper around. Got a little short of breath. Then I went up a flight of stairs to get sanitizing solution. Out of breath. I was ready to panic, because with the coughing and now the out of breath now I’m starting to fit some symptoms of the virus; but A) I hate stairs because they’re evil, and B) I moved 1-2k steps max for two months. Any sort of physical activity is going to make me breathless. And still slightly dehydrated. Stop overthinking things, Joe.

Still feel like I have a hair in my throat no matter how much water I drink. Definitely coughing less than yesterday, so maybe another night’s sleep will clear that out.


It’s nice to be back to doing stuff. It was a little weird to work a day, then back to pajamas, and then back to work. The boss and I are in the office together tomorrow, it’ll be cool to figure out a schedule again. We gonna do every other week or split the week up? Two days alone, one together, two at home?

The other night I looked at getting a Tesla car. Joe. You don’t need a Tesla. Yes, they’re cool, but you don’t have a car payment right now, why do you want to start having one?

I do eventually want to create a new category and post things in it, but I’m not sure what to write about. I did pretty okay with the blog, I think, but now I need to expand upon that.

The app I use to track sleep will record me when I snore. Found that out today. It’s the funniest thing I’ve heard. Also, apparently when I listen to Welcome To Night Vale as I doze off, the app thinks that’s me snoring so I have little 15 second clips of WTNV. I have a little weird pain in my shoulder area, which really tells me it’s time to get new pillows.

Okay, I’ve had a glass of wine, working on my 3rd Hydro Flask of water for the day (gotta keep way ahead of this dehydration thing, I’m so tired of feeling like crap, might pick up some Pedialyte tomorrow). I’m thinking a weekly blog post and maybe another post with some more content that isn’t just my running commentary.

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